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Readers Respond: I'm a Straight Female Attracted to FTM Transgender Man

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I am a 20 year-old female, and I consider myself to be straight, and although I have a few fantasies about women, I feel like they are more curiosities than real sexual or romantic attraction. I have recently become friends with a FTM transgender man, and I find myself very sexually attracted to him. The fact that I am attracted to him makes me very uncomfortable. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice to help me approach what I am feeling, and process this within my own concept of my identity as a straight woman.

Here are some other readers' suggestions. Leave your own advice below!

Share Your Advice

I'm a streight women but fell for a ftm

The first time I saw him I was attracted to him we talked over the phone about his lesbian girlfriend that's still in the closet and other problems he was having with his children excepting him overall he seems to be a nice guy he ask me on a date but I thought he wasn't over his last relationship so I didn't we lost contact but I still think of him & wish I can take him up on his offer now :-(
—Guest Aj

Ftm dating lesbians/bi/pansexual women

I'm a straight transguy, which means I only date women. I don't have any problem dating a bi/pansexual woman, but again everyone is different. I was slightly hesitant dating a straight girl at first (due to intimacy) but eventually it didn't matter at all. I see myself as a guy, I look masculine and therefore I don't feel the reason to explain my anatomy to my partner. I'm very comfortable in my skin, which my partner can pick up on and so she KNOWS for a fact that I am a man. Lesbians on the other hand are women attracted to women and I see no reason for me to be strolling into that.
—Guest Zac

Nobody knows

So I have recently figured out I have a thing for FTMs. When I was around 13 I fell in love with someone who I thought was a boy, but it turned out to be a girl named Emily. My jaw dropped when I figured this out but I realized later it just made me love her more, for I knew she was caring & compassionate yet sexy as hell all at the same time. Recently, I've been involved with Shakespeare, & the hilarious character, Bottom, is played by my friend Elliot. We've been working on it for months now, & I grew to really like him. A lot. Yesterday, someone finally cared to tell me Elliot was born a girl. Again, my jaw dropped, but again I realized that Elliot was even more gorgeous & hot then when I believed he was a full man. I'm 15 now, & just wanted to share my story. A person is a person, love who you want.
—Guest Katie

It doesnt matter..

I am currently dating a Transguy, I am like you, consider myself straight. Things started with this guy as friends but i developed feelings and so did he. Occasionally, I 'remember' he is trans but to the outside world we are any normal couple, and most of the time it is like that. I don't consider myself gay for being in love with him. Because thats just it HE is a boy. The only time when the fact he is trans actually crosses my mind is when we are in the bedroom, and to be honest you shouldnt rush into that until you both feel comfortable anyway so you don't need to worry. But I know the first time 'things' like that happened between us, I was already at the point of not going back, I am in love with this guy and nothing was or is ever going to change that. Biologically male or not. He is my BOYFRIEND and thats how you should see it. If you see him as a girl it isn't right to start things with him because you aren't seeing him for who he really is. He is a boy and you are straight .
—Guest Katy

I love who I love < :)

I fell in love with my Bisexual best friend in 6th grade. We're 16 now and hes a transexual. Even though he looks like a girl I love everything about him! I am a straight Female in love with a Transgendered Male and im fine with it. I don't care what other people say (Not even my judgmental mother). I believe "A person is a person, regardless of biological gender or the gender with which they identify. You're not attracted to that penis or that vagina; you're attracted to the wonderful person attached to it." My BOYFRIEND is my everything :)
—Guest SGermanotta

Confused!!

I am a lesbian/bi and have started to see someone who I thought was just a bit more butch than I was used to but have just told me that they are about to start the transition FTM and I completely do not no what to do I really like there company and I'm Attracted to them which I didn't think I would be as I don't normally Like such masculinity but I was but now theyve told me this I'm just confussed. I know thy want a physical relationship which I did as well But this has really thrown me. Any advice should I peruse this as I love being around them and it feels right or should I bale now before one of us get hurt because there is something in me that just cant get my head around how they will Change and what my family and friends will think
—Guest Sarah

attraction

I do not understand why people are so hung up on being gay or straight. Attraction is attraction- no matter the gender. I am a girl who has been dating a girl for a year and she/he just recently transitioned from female to male. Here's the thing, I'm still in love with the same person. If you feel a connection with smeone, go or it. You never knw where it might lead.
—Guest Mary

Your NOT a lesbian

The answer to all the straight girls' questions is: BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH/ LOVING AN FTM DOES NOT MAKE YOU A LESBIAN! Being with a lesbian makes you a lesbian. Your interested in a straight man, with a 'birth defect', if you will. Here's a concept you might not understand unless you live with a gender variant- sexual orientation and gender identity are COMPLETELY SEPARATE issues. There can be hetero and homo sexual FTMs and MTFs. Which means that sexual orientation is not related to the gender one identifies with. Which MEANS.... (drum roll) you are not considered a gay female... Unless your like my ex, then once he starts to transition you will realize you want a woman after all and run off with a bull dyke. Either way, the most important thing is to BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!! No matter who you are or what you have in your pants... It's your heart that matters. Ps- my str8 female partners always tell me I'm the best sex they've had... Makes sense FTMS would do it best ;) what are
—Guest Zak

Confusing...

I am a straight 23 year old girl, and I have a good friendship with a born man. We kind of clicked and he opened up to me that he was taking supplements to grow breasts, and he asked me if something like that would make me reconsider a relationship with someone. At first, I said no. It really is about the person inside. He still sees himself as a man, and I do too, but he said he's just always felt that this is how his body should have looked (with breasts). The most confusing thing about this is that I'm not sure what that lifestyle would be considered (except for somewhat hermaphrodite, I guess?) And that there is some feeling causing me to be uncomfortable with all of this, especially since I found out he's now into interested in both sexes. (which shouldn't have surprised me) It's not society that's botherin me. It's something within me that is uncomfortable. He is wanting to keep his male anatomy as well as breasts- he's wanting to be both. IDK what to think or feel. Help
—Guest Sara88

listen up

if someone identifies as male how would any of u feel like a lesbian? kidding me? why care about labels? do u plan on outting him to everyone anyhow? hope not. girls who are curious about women I think wind up bi. hetero ppl have no curiosity for the same sex usually. not in every case.
—Guest get real

When I fall in love

Hi I'm 18 years old Transguy.I've been liking this girl a lot since we were 11 grade.We're a both very close friend in Facebook.Since the fact we are in senior high school.We both liking each other and we much flirting.After all,she couldn't accept herself by liking me like how I have a guy trait.she likes me as a guy trait than my girl look.We've been talking alot on Facebook.The most complicated thing we have face from now,that we have feelings each other.On the hand,she can't go out with me because I'am a girl and she doesn' Want the society see as a lesbian.I don't want that happened between us.But I still love her a lot.I do not consider myself as a lesbian.I'm trans guy who have picked the wrong body.I won't never give my love for her.I always there for her until she's ready.
—Guest Tegi Alfonzo

When I fall in love

Hi I'm Tegi Alfonzo.18 years old Transguy.I've been liking this girl a lot since we were 11 grade.We're a both very close friend in Facebook.Since the fact we are in senior high school.We both liking each other and we much flirting.After all,she couldn't accept herself by liking me like how I have a guy trait.she likes me as a guy trait than my girl look.We've been talking alot on Facebook.The most complicated thing we have face from now,that we have feelings each other.On the hand,she can't go out with me because I'am a girl and she doesn' Want the society see as a lesbian.I don't want that happened between us.But I still love her a lot.I do not consider myself as a lesbian.I'm trans guy who have picked the wrong body.I won't never give my love for her.I always there for her until she's ready.
—Guest Tegi Alfonzo

I'm a straight ftm

I'm a heterosexual trans male, and dating a straight girl who has only been with men. I am nothing other than a male, although I do recognize the variation in each trans-identity. To me, dating a bisexual girl or pansexual girl would only make me have more trouble feeling like the straight guy I am, despite other anatomy I came with. Ask him how he identifies - many straight "stealth" FtMs want nothing more than to just be with a straight girl and have a heterosexual relationship. Others feel that their trans identity is important. Love is love, and sexual attraction is beyond any of our control - go with the flow :)
—Guest Kai

Just my Opinion

A person is a person, regardless of biological gender or the gender with which they identify. You're not attracted to that penis or that vagina; you're attracted to the wonderful person attached to it.
—_Blaise_

I'm in love with a ftm

I just turned 18 a couple days ago. I have been dating a ftm for about five months but jUst found out that he is a ftm yesterday. I still am in live with him but I feel like if I keep dating him then I'm a lesbian. Is this true
—Guest 2many?s

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I'm a Straight Female Attracted to FTM Transgender Man

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