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Readers Respond: I'm a Straight Female Attracted to FTM Transgender Man

Responses: 31

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Here's a post from the forum:

I am a 20 year-old female, and I consider myself to be straight, and although I have a few fantasies about women, I feel like they are more curiosities than real sexual or romantic attraction. I have recently become friends with a FTM transgender man, and I find myself very sexually attracted to him. The fact that I am attracted to him makes me very uncomfortable. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice to help me approach what I am feeling, and process this within my own concept of my identity as a straight woman.

Here are some other readers' suggestions. Leave your own advice below!

I love who I love < :)

I fell in love with my Bisexual best friend in 6th grade. We're 16 now and hes a transexual. Even though he looks like a girl I love everything about him! I am a straight Female in love with a Transgendered Male and im fine with it. I don't care what other people say (Not even my judgmental mother). I believe "A person is a person, regardless of biological gender or the gender with which they identify. You're not attracted to that penis or that vagina; you're attracted to the wonderful person attached to it." My BOYFRIEND is my everything :)
—Guest SGermanotta

Confused!!

I am a lesbian/bi and have started to see someone who I thought was just a bit more butch than I was used to but have just told me that they are about to start the transition FTM and I completely do not no what to do I really like there company and I'm Attracted to them which I didn't think I would be as I don't normally Like such masculinity but I was but now theyve told me this I'm just confussed. I know thy want a physical relationship which I did as well But this has really thrown me. Any advice should I peruse this as I love being around them and it feels right or should I bale now before one of us get hurt because there is something in me that just cant get my head around how they will Change and what my family and friends will think
—Guest Sarah

attraction

I do not understand why people are so hung up on being gay or straight. Attraction is attraction- no matter the gender. I am a girl who has been dating a girl for a year and she/he just recently transitioned from female to male. Here's the thing, I'm still in love with the same person. If you feel a connection with smeone, go or it. You never knw where it might lead.
—Guest Mary

Your NOT a lesbian

The answer to all the straight girls' questions is: BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH/ LOVING AN FTM DOES NOT MAKE YOU A LESBIAN! Being with a lesbian makes you a lesbian. Your interested in a straight man, with a 'birth defect', if you will. Here's a concept you might not understand unless you live with a gender variant- sexual orientation and gender identity are COMPLETELY SEPARATE issues. There can be hetero and homo sexual FTMs and MTFs. Which means that sexual orientation is not related to the gender one identifies with. Which MEANS.... (drum roll) you are not considered a gay female... Unless your like my ex, then once he starts to transition you will realize you want a woman after all and run off with a bull dyke. Either way, the most important thing is to BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!! No matter who you are or what you have in your pants... It's your heart that matters. Ps- my str8 female partners always tell me I'm the best sex they've had... Makes sense FTMS would do it best ;) what are
—Guest Zak

Confusing...

I am a straight 23 year old girl, and I have a good friendship with a born man. We kind of clicked and he opened up to me that he was taking supplements to grow breasts, and he asked me if something like that would make me reconsider a relationship with someone. At first, I said no. It really is about the person inside. He still sees himself as a man, and I do too, but he said he's just always felt that this is how his body should have looked (with breasts). The most confusing thing about this is that I'm not sure what that lifestyle would be considered (except for somewhat hermaphrodite, I guess?) And that there is some feeling causing me to be uncomfortable with all of this, especially since I found out he's now into interested in both sexes. (which shouldn't have surprised me) It's not society that's botherin me. It's something within me that is uncomfortable. He is wanting to keep his male anatomy as well as breasts- he's wanting to be both. IDK what to think or feel. Help
—Guest Sara88

listen up

if someone identifies as male how would any of u feel like a lesbian? kidding me? why care about labels? do u plan on outting him to everyone anyhow? hope not. girls who are curious about women I think wind up bi. hetero ppl have no curiosity for the same sex usually. not in every case.
—Guest get real

When I fall in love

Hi I'm 18 years old Transguy.I've been liking this girl a lot since we were 11 grade.We're a both very close friend in Facebook.Since the fact we are in senior high school.We both liking each other and we much flirting.After all,she couldn't accept herself by liking me like how I have a guy trait.she likes me as a guy trait than my girl look.We've been talking alot on Facebook.The most complicated thing we have face from now,that we have feelings each other.On the hand,she can't go out with me because I'am a girl and she doesn' Want the society see as a lesbian.I don't want that happened between us.But I still love her a lot.I do not consider myself as a lesbian.I'm trans guy who have picked the wrong body.I won't never give my love for her.I always there for her until she's ready.
—Guest Tegi Alfonzo

When I fall in love

Hi I'm Tegi Alfonzo.18 years old Transguy.I've been liking this girl a lot since we were 11 grade.We're a both very close friend in Facebook.Since the fact we are in senior high school.We both liking each other and we much flirting.After all,she couldn't accept herself by liking me like how I have a guy trait.she likes me as a guy trait than my girl look.We've been talking alot on Facebook.The most complicated thing we have face from now,that we have feelings each other.On the hand,she can't go out with me because I'am a girl and she doesn' Want the society see as a lesbian.I don't want that happened between us.But I still love her a lot.I do not consider myself as a lesbian.I'm trans guy who have picked the wrong body.I won't never give my love for her.I always there for her until she's ready.
—Guest Tegi Alfonzo

I'm a straight ftm

I'm a heterosexual trans male, and dating a straight girl who has only been with men. I am nothing other than a male, although I do recognize the variation in each trans-identity. To me, dating a bisexual girl or pansexual girl would only make me have more trouble feeling like the straight guy I am, despite other anatomy I came with. Ask him how he identifies - many straight "stealth" FtMs want nothing more than to just be with a straight girl and have a heterosexual relationship. Others feel that their trans identity is important. Love is love, and sexual attraction is beyond any of our control - go with the flow :)
—Guest Kai

Just my Opinion

A person is a person, regardless of biological gender or the gender with which they identify. You're not attracted to that penis or that vagina; you're attracted to the wonderful person attached to it.
—_Blaise_

I'm in love with a ftm

I just turned 18 a couple days ago. I have been dating a ftm for about five months but jUst found out that he is a ftm yesterday. I still am in live with him but I feel like if I keep dating him then I'm a lesbian. Is this true
—Guest 2many?s

doesnt always turn out the way you want

Being FTM and recently dated a heterosexual female it can be difficult for the female to see you as a male. I had this issue. She first told me that it wouldnt be a problem seeing me as a man and she would be able to have sex with me but 2 months down the road once we became intimate and I took my clothes off she didnt see me as male anymore. I didnt have top surgery and I dont have bottom surgery which made it very hard for her to see me as the man that I truly want to be. Now that I have had top surgery she still tells me that she sees me as a woman without my clothes on but when i have clothes on she sees me as a man. It can be truly a mind f**k and it has been for me. I truly am having a hard time with the way I look and wonder if all straight women will have the same issues.
—Guest cris

I see it now!

I am a 15 year old girl in a relationship with a ftm at first (befor i knew he was a ftm) i really liked him. when he told me the ftm story, it really didnt bother me, but it made me think, does this make me a lesbian? i thought and thought then came to this site and read "just because the ftm was born with the body of a girl, and the mind of a boy, dose't make him a girl, he was a guy just born with the wrong parts" and i belive that, because it makes sence, and i thank you for that! and now I can love him for whats in his heart and whats not born with him TYSM!
—Guest Carolyn

I see it now!

I am a 15 year old girl in a relationship with a ftm at first (befor i knew he was a ftm) i really liked him. when he told me the ftm story, it really didnt bother me, but it made me think, does this make me a lesbian? i thought and thought then came to this site and read "just because the ftm was born with the body of a girl, and the mind of a boy, dose't make him a girl, he was a guy just born with the wrong parts" and i belive that, because it makes sence, and i thank you for that! and now I can love him for whats in his heart and whats not born with him TYSM!
—Guest Carolyn

love and feelings

you should follow what your heart tells you babe,it doesn't matter to the society how they look at you and the man you are attracted to, the main thing is as long as you are happy and he's happy. I am happy to have known one ftm that is loving and caring,i am not ashamed of him,i am proud of him for being who he is. we are friends now so far everything went smoothly. I enjoyed every bit of the conversation we had together,i just wish that it would be easier for the both of us to see one another, he's european and i am asian. I am planning to flyout to see him in person, i know there's nothing between us...but i do care alot about him like he did care about me too.and he was planning to come out to see me as well. I am very interested. His past and who he is now doesn't matter to me. For i know he is honest and a gentleman. be yourself babe, don't regret it one day. its once in your lifetime,and its up to you to make it work or not. never feel embarrassed of whom you are with. linda
—lindaruffles1986

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