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"How I Knew I Was Gay"

Teens Talk About How They Realized Their Sexual Orientation


There are many different ways to know you are gay.

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A lot of teens ask a lot of questions on this site, but one of the most common is "How do I know I'm gay?" There are a lot of ways that you can figure that out. Here are just a few places you can look for more information:

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It can also be helpful to hear from other teens about their process of figuring out their sexual orientation. So here, in teens' own words, is the answer to the question, "How did you know you were gay?"

Adam says:

"I am 12 and I always thought to myself, am I gay? Ever since I was 4 I looked at guys. Also when I was in 2nd grade I fantasized about this guy in my class. All of my friends were and still are girls. Everyone at my school knows. including teachers, and my ma and my dad know. So I have a good support group."

Chelsea says:

"I'm 13 and I think I'm gay. I have a gay friend and we always hug and say "I love you," to each other. The past year I keep having sexy dreams about her and I get this weird feeling around her."

Kyle says:

"I am 17 and I’ve known I have been gay for two years. When I was in my freshman year I came out that I was bisexual. That was when I had my first boyfriend. When I was a sophomore I came out that I was gay. I’ve known that I liked guys for years now, I just never really understood what it meant. Now I know for sure that I like guys".

Juliano T. says:

"Hello, I’m Juliano, I’m 15 soon to be 16 and lesbian. I pretty much have had a strong attraction to girls from the start. After I figured out I was lesbian sometime in the 5th grade, I realized I had previous crushes on girls, starting as young as 7 years old. I just didn’t know what I was feeling back then. And now that I know, it answers my question as to why I felt the need to protect girls and pretend I was their “knight in shining armour” as a kid. I liked them, and that obviously hasn’t changed much. I am very sure of who I am, I’ve had several great relationships and I am currently in my longest-lasting and what I consider to be my happiest."

Sammi says:

"I just turned 14, a lot of people say 14 is too young to know if you are bi. I was a bit curious and made out with my friend that's a girl. I liked it but and I like her a lot. But I also have a little of a crush on a boy."

Laedy says:

"How do I know I’m gay? Well, uh. I know I’m gay because when I look at a good looking guy, I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship with him or anything of that sort, like .. that’s it, he’s just good looking to me & it’s nothing I want. When I look at a beautiful girl, I get this feeling like I wanna approach her, talk to her, get to know her, all that good stuff. I mean, everyone has their own way of knowing what they are, but that’s just me."

Jordan says:

"It’s like you just know/feel it. Or at least it was for me. I’d always liked guys. I just don’t care for girls, that’s all. Yes I know when a woman is beautiful or whatever, but it doesn’t interest me. I’m attracted to guys, and I’m cool with it. I can’t imagine not liking guys, it’s just who I am."

Dylan says:

"I am 16 and male. I do know that I’m gay. But most of the guys at my school are really attractive to me. I have had a crush on this guy in my grade for like 5 years now and he is my friend."

Thomas says:

"I know that I am gay because every time I look at a woman I don’t ever get excited, but when I am looking or hanging with guys I am so excited and I think guys are so sexy."

Obviously, these are just individuals' experiences, not universal truths, but hopefully hearing from other teens can shed some light on the process of figuring out your sexual orientation.

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