"I'm 16, a dude and just wonder if I'm the only one out there who is having a very depressing time in my teenage years. Basically, to list off some crappy things: I hate being alone, I think I'm one of those people who just need to be in a relationship cause I'm going a little crazy (crazier, actually) not being with someone, I'm extremely depressed because of it, and I've kinda hurt myself a bit because of it. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'm kinda crazy, so it's just been a little bit worse. Answers like "talk to people," really won't work for me because I'm not an emotional person at all.
My friends, they're clueless. They might suspect something now and then. But that's only because I drop hints of my depression. They ask, I say, no, they move on with life.
I feel like the only way for me to be happy is to be with someone. That's all I ever think about, I oversleep because I'm just happier there. I once had a dream I was with this guy. It was nothing special we were just talking. I didn't even see his face in the dream. That was two years ago and I can still remember it (best dream ever, hoping for a sequel).
Does anyone else feel as hollow as me? Does anyone know what I could do to feel better?"
It sounds like you are having a super tough time. The things you mention, sleeping a lot, feeling "crazy", hurting yourself, feeling hollow, and focusing on the idea that there is only one thing will make you happy, are signs that something is amiss.
A lot of people feel like they aren't the kind to talk about their feelings and that's okay. But if you don't want to talk, you need to find other ways to deal with how you are feeling. While being in a relationship may seem like the only thing out there that will help you feel better, even a loving boyfriend isn't going to fix underlying issues. And once you have dealt with those issues, it will actually probably be a lot easier to meet someone!
Besides dating, there are a lot of things you can do to help you feel better. Some people like journalling, listening to music, doing art, playing sports and taking up hobbies. Others discover that they benefit from talk therapy, even if they never would have thought that would be helpful. And some teens with clinical depression, anxiety, and other related issues, find that being on medication is actually the best solution.
Really, the only person who can tell you what exactly is going on is a mental health professional, but it might be helpful for you to read up on dealing with depression, and what is behind self harm.
As a first step, it is probably a really good idea to touch base with your family doctor and see what he or she recommends. Doing so might seem really unappealing, and it might take a little bit of work on your part to get the help you need, but getting help is one of the best ways to feel better.
