A teen writes to the GLBT teens community forum:
"I'm 15 and my name is Amy. I don't really know what I am. Sometimes I think I'm lesbian and sometimes I think I'm bi and sometimes I think I'm straight. I want feedback from lesbian and bi girls saying how you knew. I would really appreciate it if you could help. Thanks!"
Here is what some lesbian and bisexual girls have to say:
"I think I am bi because I’ve had crushes on girls and I’ve had sexual activites with them. I liked it but never had a real relationship. I’ve done it twice but with the same girl. It always runs through my mind if I am or not. Part of me says “FOR SURE I AM.” But then the other side of me says, “Maybe you are going through a stage, or you are just trying to fit in with everyone else.” I’m too shy to ask a girl out even if i really like them."
I'm bi. There is nothing wrong with it. At first I was confused and now I am with girls and guys."
"I for one, am a 17-year-old bi-curious girl. I have kissed a girl, but have never actually had a relationship with one. I do however dream about being with my “girl” friends. I've told them I liked them and they have no problem with it."
"I’m a straight woman (though occasionally a little bi-curious) and I have kissed girls in the past. I admit as a teenager I questioned my sexuality sometimes, but kissing girls did not alter my sexuality one bit – deep down I have always known what/who I am. There is no one answer to this question – only the individual girl will know how she feels and what she is."
Questions to Ask Yourself
Here are some questions that can help you figure out if you are lesbian or bisexual.
- Who do you usually have crushes on? Is it mainly someone of the same gender?
- Do you imagine relationships with someone of the same gender?
- If you dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the opposite gender, how did it make you feel?
- If you dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the same gender, how did it make you feel?
- Do you feel strongly attracted to people of both genders?
- Do you think you could have a sexual or romantic relationship with either males or females?
You might also want to take these quizzes to help figure out if you are lesbian or bisexual.
Figuring out your sexual orientation is a long process. It is also not something that you need to have a clear answer to as a teen or even as an adult. Really. Many people question their sexual orientation their entire lives and for others sexual orientation is fluid and shifts over time. Though being able to label your sexual orientation can give you comfort, please don't feel pressure to adopt a label that doesn't feel right before you are ready!