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A Bisexual Teen's Crush Likes Someone Else

What to Do When You Lose the Girl You Like to a Guy


Almost every teen has had the experince of having a crush on someone who ends up dating another person. But what happens when you are a bisexual girl and you lose the girl you have a crush on to a guy? In this teen's case, the experience causes a lot of heartache. As Alimaria says:

my best friend is gorgeous, she's everything I would ever want in a girl AND she's bi. its perfect, except, she's basically straight, she talks about guys constantly and never comments on the girls! apparently she likes some other chick but she never talks about her.. anyways, so, my friend never knew i was bisexual until a week or so ago when i "accidentaly" let it slip in a conversation. she had just recently broken up with her boyfriend and i figured now would be the time to ask her out...i was about to ask, like, seriously i had the message typed out and was fighting with the enter key when she says "so, there's this guy i like" (FML) a couple days later, they're going out, and I have just lost this amazing girl to some dude :/ ever happen to anyone else? what did you do about it? what should I do about it?

Here are some responses from the forum:

From IndieGeek:

Bounce back. She'll soon come to her senses, they all do. Pretty soon she'll split up with this boy and you'll have the chance to tell her how you feel. I can't really talk from experience, I'm a bisexual girl who's only ever been out with one person, and he was a boy and turned out to be a tosser! And all the girls I've fancied have been straight! I think it's wonderful you've found a beautiful person you're not only close to, but you know is bi. But I do know that most boy/girl relationships at this age don't last too long, unless the couple are like, concrete or something. If she breaks up with him pretty quickly, go for it and tell her how you feel, you may feel like "Oh my god what have I done?" at first, but whatever her answer (I'm pretty sure she'll say yes!) you'll be glad you asked and relieved that you know how she feels.

From gabri3la:

Yea it's happened to me :-/ I'm still friends with her and she knows I'm bi. bounce back because someone else could be waiting for you..plus you don't wanna ruin the friendship by going out.

Here's my take: It's never fun to discover that the person you like, is interested in someone else. And for GLBT teens, for whom the pool of potential partners is smaller, this can be particulalry tough. It's true that telling your friend how you felt beforehand might have made the situation turn out differently, but there is really no way of knowing that. Right now, you have to decide if it is still worth telling her how you feel. It's totally possible that she feels the same way. But it is also possible that she will want to keep dating this guy and just remain friends with you.

As you know, one of the realities of being bisexual is the potential to like someone of either sex. Any time you tell someone how you feel you are taking a risk. You have to decide if this is a risk worth taking. If at all possible, try not to see your friend's new relationship as a reflection of you or anything you have done.

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