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Readers Respond: What Can You Do if You are a GLBT Teen with a Crush on Someone Straight?

Responses: 897



Okay, well, i like this guy in my year at school. We are good friends but i have (other) feelings for him. He doesn't know i'm gay. No-one does (but i think people guess). We do flirt (although i dont know whether its a joke or not). So i cant tell if he has feelings for me or not.The thing is, just as i was going to tell him (after 2 years of secret crushing), he only started going out with my best friend (who's a straight girl). It just makes things so damn complicated cause now i have to pretend like im all right with it (and im not)!!! I just dont know what to do!
—Guest Confused.

So in love wiv him

Like we've just met 2 months ago and boy it's like we r twins, we r both great at rock climbing and canooeing. But last time we went camping and we both slept in one tent for the two of us just sleeping next to him made me feel great. Nowaday we hang out on Saturdays and on Sundays we either go to his or my place to play some guitar or watch movies or do homework. I think he's str8 but I'm no sure cause the way he moves and acts, but I'm so scared to confessing to him, I don't want to lose my first best friend. Whom with I actually talk. Plz help I love him but what should I do
—Guest Boy boy

I'm also in love with a stright guy!

So... I'm actually confused if im gay or bi because i had a crush on a girl too. but.. anyways.. so im 15,im in high school.I like this straight guy. He is a junior and im a sophomore. Anyways he has a girlfriend and i dont know what to do. I love him and im pretty sure of it. He is so perfect he almost looks like a greek good. His "gf" is the uglyest girl ever (like for real). We dont even talk,but i have notice that he stares at me( i actually i think he stares at me becuase i always stare at him) they weirdest thing is that we both have the same name but his name is english and my is spanish our last names start with teh same letter!! isnt that weird?(actually not really) But i dont really know what to do?
—Guest belcol19

Ahead in Time

I'm 41. Just think of this like a fast-forward through time, okay? Over the years, you're going to have crushes on numerous guys. Sometimes you'll think as if you can't be happy unless you have that man in your life. But you can be happy. Crushes come and go. At times, you might look back and think...yeeesh, I used to have a crush on THAT? Why? I once had a crush on a guy on the tennis team. Straight as an arrow, cute, popular, muscular. This is how my advice can be useful, see? I can fast-forward. One night I was in a gay bar with some friends. This tennis guy walked in, our eyes met, we recognized each other. He told me he'd always thought I was cute! We spent the night together, and then drifted apart. Today, I have a meaningful relationship with a person who loves me equally. We share our mutual love honestly, knowing that we wouldn't trade each other for anybody else in the world. I hope you know one day you will have that. Wait for the right one. :)

O my god I'm lost

I'm a 13 year old chick. I'm bi, Ive figured that much out, but I've been getting these really weird feelings towards my best friend for a couple of mounths now. We hang out every chance we get, sleepovers, school, afternoons, you get the picture right? Well she acts so weird, shell grab my ass and my boobs, but she does this with everyone, but when someone asked her if she was Bi or Lesbian, she denied it saying "Theres to much stuff up here" I felt really odd when she said that, and I'm worried I'm falling in love. She wouldn't care if I was bi, I haven't told anyone yet, Cause we both like fanbases for gay and Lesbian couples from anime and rant how we're Nazis to Homophobics. I'm so confused. Please someone help me before I die from confusion. I live in a kinda homophobic state, Texas, so I'm also worried if I come out of the closet I'll be hated. I have a friend up in Minnispta who I talk to, but she always is telling me to tell her how I feel!
—Guest Renett who Is confused


i am 12 yrs old and i dont know if im gay or bi or staight i like this girl in my grade, she is nice funny, beautiful, smart and athetic, also ther is this guy i kinda am crushing on hes hot, athletic, and seems kinda gay. one more thing i think i like him but hes annoying as hell so idk what to do. one reasont i thinks hes gay (or atleat bi) is that i walkd by his cousins house and he was standing on the roof and he flashed me, of u know what i mean and smiled but i just walked away getting hard. I havent told anyone im gay cause im not sure i am but there r a lot of other boys i like who r nice but none as smokin hot as him. WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!!
—Guest im not sure

I don't kno wat the heck to do

Well I became gay in the 6th grade but I've only had a straight crush till now:9th grade. I met him in the seventh grade and we hated each other because we exchanged insults for no reason, but we became close friends in the eigth grade. I told him I was gay and he asked if I was attracted to him at all and I said no, fearing that he would hate me or something. he said that was a relief. he didn't mind, but ever since we've been so close. We even shared a pretty intimate moment while texting but he doesn't like to talk about it anymore. I desperately want him to like me! Wat do I do???
—Guest rutdude

same story

Well I've known this guy since we were in 4th grade... now we are in 11th. I havent really had any feeling for him until this past year and we have pretty much become best friends... and I have become attracted to him (only guy im attracted 2, im bi.. i think?). We've been with each other A LOT over the past year... I took him to the beach with me for a week and hes had me over many times to spend the night. The whole time we were at the beach we slept together... and although he may have, I dont think he had any "gay" feelings for me... we talked a lot and watched movies... and sorta acted a bit different with each other... but neither of us made any comments that indicated we liked each other more than friends. We've slept together a couple of times actually... and I always wanted to put an arm around him or just hug... (nothing extreme) but i just cant seem to do it. Maybe he's having the same problem... but i just cant tell... and i definitely dont want to ruin our friendship.. :(
—Guest me

right just some advice

right for all those that are going through a hard time or as you call it "a phase" with either your best mate or bffl just because he sometimes rubs up on you or flirts around a bit or does the most daftest things with you or around you doesnt mean he might have the same feelings as you do for him for example i lived in a place close to where one of my mates lived at the time we didnt know each other then once we moved later on to the same city we went to high school from since the day of first year and then even though we were comfortable around each other and then one night we both got real close due to being drunk and it came very close to us both making out and then alarm bells started to ring and he turned round and said i dont think this is right for us both and i want to go home and weve not talked since or it could go the other way out of blind luck you just dont know and from since then just so until i find the right person ive started to bond with myself so i dont do it again
—Guest guru

Bestfriend Crush

I'm gay and 18 years old and i have a crush on my straight bestfriend of over 10 years. Back in about the 7th grade he came onto me when i was staying the night at his house. He came onto a couple times after that too. But i was too afraid to do anything with him because i didnt want to ruin our friendship. At the time he was confused as to if he was bi or straight. Ever since then i regret not doing anything with him because i really like him. Ive liked him since about the 5th grade but never wanted to admit it but i cant hold it back any longer. I truly love him alot, more than anything. As a friend and more. I dream about him practically every night. I just wish i had done something with him when i had the chance to. Now hes straight and theres no chance of it happening. I keep thinking i should tell him my feelings for him, but i dont want to scare him away. I should really just keep my mouth shut and deal with it, but easier said than done. I really dont know what to do.
—Guest Kyle


i've loved this guy for almost 2 years now. i am currently 16, and we happen to be born on the same day. since 2 years ago we've been catching each other's eyes acrross the playground, classes, etc. im not out yet, and apparently he is straight, but hes never been in a relationship that i know of, and hes really popular and REALLY hot. there have been a few instances that have led to believe that he was trying to impress me or something but sometimes i just think i was to hopeful looking for sings and that im just desperate. recently i went VERY red around him and he saw and he went had told all his friends and they were all laughing behind my back. since after ive been really really upset and questioning whether im just crazy or not. i still catching him staring at me sometimes. wat should i do
—Guest lostlover4

Bi love

So I'm 12 and have a crush on my friend we have 2 classes together we are good friends and somtimes he puts his leg arond mine,we tease eachother alot,he stares at me but I pretend I'm not looking but I want us to be more than friends but he says he has a girlfriend but I don't know I want him so badly do u have any advice
—Guest Guest360

i love her but shes straight

i am 13 and i have found out that i am bi-sexual. only some of my friends know that i am bi, but i currently have a boyfriend but i am also in love with one of my best friends. she thinks im straight and i always try to get her to like me by leaving clues that i like her. i want to tell her my true feelings but i dont want our friendship to be ruined. i always talk to her and hang with her but the more i love her the harder it is to tell her the truth. i do like the boy im going out with but in my heart i will always like this girl...i love everything about her and she just amazing!! i really need some help with this!!! btw( if your reading this nicole i just want you to know that I LOVE YOU
—Guest sammiii

NewSchool Crush

I started a new school and we went for one day, for an hour, i just loved her since the first day and i cant stop thinking about her its killing me, and i always see her messing about with boys and stuff its not like a sexual attraction i only find boys sexually attractive i just really want to hug her and stuff im trying to impress her by helping her in class and she said she loved me but in a thanks for helping me kind of way, but im not a lesbian i wouldnt do sexual stuff, i just really want to hold her and be there for her maybe even kiss her but in my last school i told my old friend that i used to like her and she spread rummours about me i was really huurt she was the longest crush i had ever had
—Guest NewGirl

same here

Theres this boy called K. he is so cute and he talks so adorably hes 13 same as me were in each others classes he talks to me regularly but when he does i try to act all as if im not gay but i think it shows abit.i get the bus with him aswell. its like when im at home thinking about him i think im gonna say this and that but when h next to me i dint wat to say it just comes out nateruly. but i dont want to tell him because im scared of what hell think of me and everyone else cos when i tell one person everyones gonna know which will make e feel even worse and i dont think i can put up with that :(
—Guest eric

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What Can You Do if You are a GLBT Teen with a Crush on Someone Straight?

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