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Readers Respond: I'm gay and a girl asked me out. What should I do?

Responses: 37


A reader posted this question to the community forum:

"So last night i was hanging out with my friends and one of them is a girl ( they don't know i'm gay) and she kinda asked me out. I said i would think about it. shes a really close friend and i enjoy spending time with her and my friends but i don't have feelings for her. and i'm scared to say no and if i do she just going to tell all of my other friend. and then there going to start wondering why i said no. so what should i do ? :(

Here are some other readers' suggestions. Feel free to leave your own advice below!


well i have bad thing that happen in my relationship
—Guest may

Spring Break Mess

Haha this reminds me of my high school panama city spring break. I wasn't out to anybody in my high school at this point. One night of many funnels, this really hot girl that I figuered would be out of my league anyways come up to me and starts making out with me!! Then she leads me to a room and tries to get me to hve sex with her, which I obviously can't do. I have to literally yell, "wait! I'm gay!" to get her to stop. Haha she was just a little embarressed and everything went fine. We still talk to this day and laugh about it now.
—Guest Shadypup

gay girls

gay girls should give another chance they may be the one
—Guest keri

Tell her

Let me just start this out with I'm straight, so I can't fully understand what your going through, but let me give it a shot :). I think you should tell her why you can't go out with her. If she is really your friend she won't mind if your gay. And while your doing that I am going to chat with a cute guy I know over the computer. HE IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—Guest FutureCSI


If you think you are ok with coming out, this would be an ideal moment Since she's a really close friend she will most likely be okay with it. You don't always have to go out with everyone who asks, and you want to keep your friendship. Plus lots of girls always say they want a gay best friend. ;) Have a happy day P.S. Don't agree and lead her on.
—Guest Ish


nice a chika asked you out cool go for it whats the worst that could happen look into her eyes she might be crazy
—Guest zowy


Say yes jut give it a try if it doesn't work out tell her your sorry and you jut need to be friends...I have been in a situation like this
—Guest I see

Isn't this just typical

If you were a girl and a guy ask you out it wouldn't be an issue, you would just decline, but since it's the other way around, it's become a big deal. Like why would a guy turn down a girl, right? Here's what you do. Don't give it a second thought. Just say "no, but thank you for asking". All you're doing is playing the sexist game when you make it a big deal because, well hell, guys are all horndogs, right? and they would never turn down a date. Be the first to make a stand and turn her down gracefully and without a reason.


go out with her and tell your friends that if they dont like it alls well
—Guest liarah

it's happening to me too

I think you should politely reject, and if you're ready to come out, it would be a good time. That's my plan, if this one guy asks me out. I'm not really sure right now if I'm bi or lesbian, but I'm reasonably sure I'm not bi. There is a guy at my school who clearly likes me. I'm trying to ignore him and I'm hoping he'll figure out I don't like him that way, or stop liking me, but if he asks me out, I'm probably going to say, "Sorry, but I'm gay." I just moved to a new town, and just when I was edging out of the closet I had to move away, so now I have to start all over. I hope that by the end of this school year I will be out of the closet at school.
—Guest anonymous

hi !

HI right i totally know where you are comming from but the best thing for you to do is if you feel uncomfotable saying yes to her then say no! Your friends may ask why but you can just say i didn't really like her or i'm not looking for a relationship at the moment because of our school work/GCSE's. Thats what i did .. good luck mate

It is always gonna be like that!(:

When I first came out but didnt tell anyone i got asked out by this guy carlos(: I hada girl friend and I was scared because I didnt know what to say to him.. But if you just be truthfull. then everything will turn out alright(: Now everyone knows and me and that gurl are still together today(:
—Guest Autumn(:

i should say yes and talk to my friends

i should talk to my other gay friends or just friends and try to get to know my gay girl thats asked me out before i even say yes......
—Guest sam

be nice

i have the same problem im 14 and im gay and my x girl friend asked me out i sad “no im with some one but i would let you know”
—Guest seth

damn girl

ive been through the same situation as you baby... but now i am happily living a gay life with a gay relationship with Jeremiah. Go for it girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MIXRACE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—Guest B3ZZi3SB00SZ4LYF33
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