1. People & Relationships

Discuss in my forum

Readers Respond: Should Gay Teens Come Out on Facebook?

Responses: 15

By

How you come out is a big decision and more and more teens are deciding to come out on Facebook by simply changing who they are interested in from men to women or vice versa. What do you think about coming out on Facebook, or on other social media sites? What Do You Think?

Tell your close friends and family first

And then just change your preference on your facebook page. Most people on your facebook don't TRULY care about your sexual preferences, but your close friends might. Close friends and real family are the people that you should truly care about concerning their view of you. And trust me- they would rather not find out these things from a facebook page and think about it-neither would you. Some of your friends might be highly sensitive to this topic, especially if you never "seemed the type" to them, and they may have surprising retorts. Its better to encounter these moments in a head-to-head situation than through a computer screen. Use the Facebook method as an afterthought for the people who never truly knew you. Then get ready to delete a hater or two.
—Guest ?????

It's a maybe.

For some people it could be good. But what if there's that 1 person you want to tell in person on your facebook, and you forget to block them? Pretty much everyone knew I was bisexual, but then I found out I was pansexual. I posted that on facebook and barely anyone saw it because to this day I still have to explain what pansexual is.
—Guest carmendrewlovesyew

I Did This

Just last week I came out on FB because it's summer and all my school "friends" will either be fine with it or have time to think it over before going back to school.
—0a6

No

No because it could ruin their career. I know people who have come out on FB and everything was fine, but in the long run it could ruin their career if employers look at their statuses and see that they are gay. Sadly these people will be prejudice and not hire these people only for that reason
—Guest Kyle

Good Idea! I will eventually do it too!

Im gay, Im 16, I haven't yet told a lot of people, three or four friends, but I plan too go on too tell the rest of my family, My sister first- I know for sure what her reaction will be for sure - acceptance. Once I've told all of the important people- I will tell the others, who cares if they don't like it- the important ones will know and understand! Lx
—Guest LL16

Yes, but at the end

I think eventually its a good idea, but not at first. Like Mike said, you dont really know all your friends on your facebook. First come out to the people closest to you and then i would recommend at school and parents before on facebook. Pretty much, i would only put it on facebook if ur at the point where when someone asks if ur gay, u would freely admit it. Also remember about ur privacy settings when you do so. I personally would not make a big status anouncement,but just change "interested in" but I would make it so that only people I have added could see it, because when you search someone u dont know, the first that comes up is the info page which says "interested in" and i dont want that to be the first (and only) thing people see when they first add me.
—Guest Alex

Think about it

I told my parents and close friends in person, and then posted a status coming out. I keep my friends list narrowed down to only my real friends so it wasn't really a problem. If things get out of hand with abusive comments, just delete them from your wall and then the offender from your friends list. If you're coming out anyway, you don't want to be around people that won't support you, so there is no point to keep anyone else around. It worked great for me, because my college friends knew and my friends back home didn't and there was really no other option to tell them. Just weigh the options and come out on your terms, and remember "it gets better!" It certainly has for me!
—Guest multifacet

Think it over first

Before I came out, I was just so tired of hiding myself any longer that I decided to put it on Facebook for everyone to know. I was like "eff this. I'm tired of pretending I'm something I'm not. I'm going to let everyone know right now". This worked out pretty well for me but it depends on how you feel about your situation currently, who is on your friends list, and if you think you're ready to deal with the responses you may get from some of those people. Also, I strongly suggest that you tell your closest friends before hand. I told my three best friends before posting it but for some reason didn't tell my other close friends. Not telling them will only make the situation more akward for you and them. First off, there's no way of knowing whether they actually read your update and you'll just stress yourself out wondering. Second, it'll make it seem like you're not open to talk about it and some of your friends might have a hard time bringing it up if you make it so impersonal.
—Guest Peach

I thinks it's okay

I would come out to my family in person first though.If you go to a small school like I do even telling a close friend it could spred so I thinks it's a good idea.
—Guest christhegleek

hold on a second

Before you do anything, find out how your school and town feel about gays & lesbians. You dont want to upset people if the time aint right.
—countryboyatheart

No! That is not a good idea at all!!

I dont think so because not all your "friends" on facebook are your friends and probably not all of your actual friends aren't going to accept the fact of you being gay. So,thats a really bad move to pull and if everybody does find out, everything would go totally go out of hand and you cant control it.
—ShyMarie

Not a good idea, at least not at first

Go look at your friends list on Facebook or Myspace or whatever. How many people are there? Hundreds? Maybe even a thousand? Now think about it: Do you know all of them personally? And more importantly even if you do know them, do you really want them to know? I would come out to people I know, trust, and want to know about my being gay. Just because you're "friends" on Facebook doesn't mean they'll be supportive and accept you. Hell, they might even end up being one of the people that tortures you the most, all because you decided to take the easy, impersonal way of coming out. Come out to the people you care about in person and on your own terms, don't let it be just another line on someone's news feed.
—Guest Mike

it is a good idea

if you are truely out to the world like me you just admit being gay when people ask or there is a place on things like profiles for you to be who you really are - i am out on face book and myspace and any other site i have profiles with a place to put the information - i am who i am and if people do not like it i think it is just going to be their problem not mine
—Guest jamie

I think it's ok

I think it is ok. I came out by telling some of my friends but i don't think it is a bad way to come out. But if you come out on facebook, of course everyone will find out soon and you won't be able to control who knows at all. plus people could forward what you write to other people and that might get weird.
—dolphin94

I think it's ok

I think it is ok. I came out by telling some of my friends but i don't think it is a bad way to come out. But if you come out on facebook, of course everyone will find out soon and you won't be able to control who knows at all. plus people could forward what you write to other people and that might get weird.
—dolphin94

What Do You Think?

Should Gay Teens Come Out on Facebook?

Receive a one-time notification when your response is published.

  1. About.com
  2. People & Relationships
  3. GLBT Teens
  4. Coming Out
  5. Coming Out on Facebook - Gay Teens Should You Come Out on Facebook

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.