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I'm Turned On By Gay Porn. Does That Mean I'm Gay?

Someone's Sexual Fantasies Don't Always Indicate Their Sexual Orientation


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Image (c) Jeremy Brooks

Question: I'm Turned On By Gay Porn. Does That Mean I'm Gay?

A lot of interesting questions come up in the community forum. Here's one from a teen wondering if liking gay porn means he's gay.

I am a 19 year old guy and I'm really confused about my sexuality. Thing is I really love watching gay porn. I think its really hot. Most guys my age seem addicted to watching two girls together but for me I think watching two guys is very sexy. I have only started having these feelings over the past year.


My question is do you think you can be straight and still get aroused by looking at men together in porn?


Plenty of people who are heterosexual are turned on by gay or lesbian porn. But if this is the only thing that arouses you, it might be a sign that you are gay or bisexual.

As one teen suggested in the forum,

I believe you have to take the possibility [that you are gay] into consideration. It sounds like your appreciation for gay porn needs to be more deeply analyzed so you know why it is that you like it and therefore are able to come to a conclusion (notice i didn't say make a decision).


I couldn't help but notice that not once in the message you posted did you make a reference for the appreciation of women despite your insatiable gay porn appetite.

A lot of teens question their sexual orientation and that is perfectly normal. But there is a lot more to figuring out sexual orientation than just asking yourself what erotic images appeal to you.

Here are some additional things to ask yourself in order to help you figure out your sexual orientation:

  • Who do you usually have crushes on? Is it mainly someone of the same gender?
  • Do you imagine relationships with someone of the same gender?
  • If you dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the opposite gender, how did it make you feel?
  • If you dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the same gender, how did it make you feel?


You should also keep in mind that watching porn as a teen isn't exactly the same as watching porn as an adult. 

With the availability of Internet porn, a lot more teens are coming across the stuff than ever before. But simply because it is available, doesn't mean it isn't without issues.

When it comes to porn (which basically refers to depictions of sex or nudity) everyone feels differently. Some are morally opposed. It makes others feel uncomfortable. And a lot of people find it arousing.

Of course, teens need to realize that if they are under 18, it is actually illegal for them to look at porn. Still, plenty of teens will come across porn before this time. If they do, they should realize that while it might be arousing, most porn doesn't reflect reality.

Here are some common issues:

  • Idealized bodies. Men often have huge penises and women often have huge breasts, thin bodies and shaved pubic hair.
  • Appropriation of labels. "Lesbian" porn is often geared towards straight men's fantasies, and rarely reflects typical sex between women.
  • Lack of communication. Couples in porn rarely have to discuss sex and yet have mind-blowing orgasms and intuitively know each others needs.
  • Safety. Condom use is rarely highlighted, despite the very real risks of unprotected sex.

The decision to look at porn is a personal one. But if it is something you decide to do, keep in mind that gay and lesbian teens aren't usually the audience that the filmmakers have in mind, and teens in general may not actually be as comfortable with porn as the expect!

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