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Is It Normal to Enjoy Gay Sex If You're Not Gay?


Question: Is It Normal to Enjoy Gay Sex If You're Not Gay?

A teen writes on the forum:

"I've known this guy since grade 4. About 3 months ago, he approached me and "announced" that he was sexually attracted to me. It was a bit of a shock to me, but i got over it pretty quick. We had sex the next weekend when we were alone at my place, in my media room, half on the couch and half on the floor. I have to admit, it was pretty amazing. But he feels the same way I do. We both love girls, have dated / gone out with them before and quite enjoy it. My biggest problem is that I only really like the gay sex, not the idea of a relationship. Has this ever happened to anybody?"


This is pretty common. Not all people who have sex with the same sex identify as gay, bi or lesbian, and that's okay.

In fact, there are even terms used to describe people in this situation. Here are three common ones:

  • MSM: men who have sex with men
  • WSW: women who have sex with women
  • Being on the down-low: men who discreetly have sex with other men while in sexual relationships with women

As long as you and your friend are on the same page, and are both comfortable and practicing safe sex by using condoms, then you really shouldn't have to worry about labels.

Of course, sexuality is fluid, as is the way we define ourselves, and you might find your own personal definitions shifting over time.

A lot of teens question their sexual orientation and it is also possible that at some point you might consider yourself gay or bisexual. But you might always consider yourself straight. You could also discover that your level of attraction to male partners shifts over time, becoming stronger or weaker depending both on the person involved and where you are at in your life.

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