Unfortunately, I often get hostile or negative comments in response to blog posts on this site. Recently, I got a comment I couldn't ignore. In response to a post where a teen asked if it was okay to have sex with someone of the same sex, a person named Gary (comment #74) left an amazingly long list of anti-gay myths to justify his view that, no, it is not okay to have sex with the same sex.
Because he is repeating a lot of common anti-gay myths, I decided to address some of his comments here. His words are bulleted below. Mine follow.
- Has anybody ever heard that a change in behavior and orientation is possible?
Actually, while a person can change his or her behavior, it is not possible to change one's sexual orientation. In fact numerous professional bodies, including the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have stated that trying to do so can actually be very harmful.
- That the vast majority of AIDS patients comes from the homosexual community?
In fact, young women are the fastest growing group to contract HIV, the virus that lead to AIDS.
- The average homosexual, according TO VERIFIABLE STATISTICs LIVEs 15 YEARS LESS THAN A HETEROSEXUAL
I assume you are referring to studies done a few years ago by the Family Research Institute? These studies made the amazing claim that gay men die 20 years younger than straight men. The research methodology (which was based on surveys conducted in Denmark where there appeared an absence on gay men over 60) was highly flawed and has not been accepted by any legitimate professional organizations.
- That promiscuity and sex crimes are rampant within gays, that even for well adapted gays the suicide rate is 4 tiMes higher than for straights?
For the record, most sex crimes, both those against adults, and those against children are committed by men who identify as straight, not gay.
Additionally, while gay teens do have a higher rate of suicide than their straight peers, it is important to realize that being GLBT itself is not a risk factor for suicide. Rather, the negative treatment that many GLBT teens endure can lead to suicidal feelings.
- That anatomicaly speaking two penises just don't fit and 2 vaginas don't mate?
Sex is about a whole lot more than vaginal penetration. The entire human body is capable of pleasure. In fact, most women do not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone and are more likely to have an orgasm from external clitoral stimulation. Sex is also about a lot more than reproduction. Plenty of heterosexual couples have sex with no intention of ever "mating."
- Have you ever seen kids from a homosexual relationship?
Yes, I have seen kids from "homosexual" relationships. In fact, many GLBT couples are parents. Some adopt. Some have children from prior relationships. Some use surrogates or sperm donors. Unlike many straight parents, few gay parents get pregnant by accident. Most deeply want to have children and as a result tend to be deeply committed to the families they create.
- That homosexuality is the result of childhood trauma? bad parenting? the vast majority of gays come from broken families?
If this were the case, there would probably be a whole lot more gay people! Being gay is not the result of trauma or bad parenting. There is growing evidence that sexual orientation is too complex to simply be the product of a single factor. And all you need to do to refute the idea that parenting style determines sexual orientation is to point out that the majority of gay people have straight parents!
Gary isn't the only one out there to take these myths as facts. There are plenty of "Garys" out there who are convinced that their homophobia and discrimination is justified because they believe a pile of misinformation about what it means to be gay.
