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Am I Too Young to Know I'm a Lesbian?

By Ellen Friedrichs, About.com

Question: Am I Too Young to Know I'm a Lesbian?

A common question from girls who are questioning their sexual orientation is, "Am I too young to know I'm a lesbian?" In general the answer is, no.

Answer:

A lot of girls question their sexual orientation. If you are attracted to other girls, it's common to wonder if you are a lesbian, bisexual or "going through a stage."

But that doesn't mean that a teen is "too young" to be certain that she is a lesbian. Plenty of people are know that they are lesbians from very early in childhood, and it can be frustrating to be told that you are mistaken about such a core part of who you are.

Of course, others women only realize they are gay in their teens or twenties, or even later. It's also common to feel that your sexual orientation shifts over time.

If you are trying to figuring out your sexual orientation, you can ask yourself some questions like:

  • Who do you usually have crushes on? Is it mainly other girls?
  • Do you imagine relationships with girls?
  • If you dated or had a sexual experience with a guy, how did it make you feel?
  • If you dated or had a sexual experience with a girl, how did it make you feel?

The answers can help you get a clearer sense of what you are feeling, but don't worry if you still have questions. That's perfectly normal.

Whether you are absolutely certain that you are a lesbian, or still trying to figure it out is probably less related to how old you are, and more related to various individual factors. But no matter how long it takes to answer that question, rest assured you are the best person to do the answering, whatever your age.

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