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Being Gay Curious

Questioning Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity


Young men face to face
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You might have heard people talk about being “gay curious” or said that they were “questioning.”

Being gay curious and questioning both refer to people who have questions about their sexuality orientation or gender identity. Some people question whether they are GLBT. Others question whether they are straight.

As a teen named Caitlin says in the forums, "I am 16 years old and questioning if I'm gay or not. I'm pretty sure I am but currently have a boyfriend because I really don't know yet."

What she describes is pretty common. There is no hard data on how many teens are gay curious and question their identities, but I would hazard a guess that the number is pretty high!

Sometimes teens can find answers by asking themselves things like:

  • Who do I usually have crushes on? Is it mainly someone of the same gender?
  • Do I imagine relationships with someone of the same gender?
  • If I have dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the opposite gender, how did it make me feel?
  • If I dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the same gender, how did it make me feel?
  • Do I feel strongly attracted to people of both genders?
  • Do I think you could have a sexual or romantic relationship with either males or females?

If possible, try not to put too much pressure on yourself to come up with an answer right now. Remember, there is a whole lot of stuff to figure out when you are a teen. It’s perfectly normal if some of this figuring out is a process.

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