Are you a gay teen thinking about having sex with another guy for the first time? If so, you might have some specific concerns and questions about whether you are ready, and if so, what the experience will be like.
Are You Ready for Sex?
Sex can be a big deal, and one of the best ways to have a positive first experience is if you are ready. But how can you tell you're ready? One way is to ask yourself some serious questions like:
- Do I want to be in a relationship before I have sex?
- Do I think I might feel different about my partner after having sex?
- How do I think sex will affect my relationship?
- Am I having sex to make someone my boyfriend?
- What if having sex ends my relationship?
- Am I having sex because I'm worried that my partner will break up with me if I don't?
- Am I comfortable telling my partner my likes and dislikes?
- Would I feel comfortable telling my partner if something didn't feel good?
- If something goes wrong or I have an emergency, do I have an adult who I can talk to?
If This is the First Time You've Ever Had Sex
If you have decided that you are ready to have sex, there are still a number of things gay teens might want to think about. For example: Is this something you are going to talk about with your parents? How you are going to protect yourself from STDs? And, when and where are you actually going to have sex?
You should also keep in mind that society puts a lot of emphasis on the "first time." As a result, teens, both gay and straight, often have really high expectations and romantic ideas about what they want from the experience. But the first time people have sex doesn't always look like something out of a Hollywood movie (let alone a porno). Often the first time you have sex (whether with a new partner or for the first time altogether) it is more a of a process of discovery and exploration.
If You've Had Sex With a Female Partner Before
Some gay teens may have had sex with a girl before they ever had sex with another guy. If they are bisexual, maybe they just met a female partner first. Maybe they were exploring. Maybe they were figuring out their sexual orientation. Maybe they weren't out and had a girlfriend as a "cover." Whatever the reason, your first time with another guy, might not be the first time you have ever been sexual with another person.
So what is different about having sex with a girl and having sex with a guy? Aside from the fact that you are taking vaginal sex out of the equation, when having sex with another guy you also don't have to worry about protecting your partner from pregnancy. (You do still need to protect yourself from STDs.)
Many guys reprot that having sex with someone who shares their anatomy is a unique experience and some guys find that same sex partners understand their bodies in different ways than female partners.
Tips for the First Time You Have Sex With Another Guy
But what should you expect after getting into bed? There are no hard and fast rules and everyone has a different definition of sex. Still, the Guide to Gay Life offers these tips on your first gay sexual experience that can be helpful whatever type of sex play you have.
- Tell him it's your first time. This is important because he may jump in for the feel without realizing that you need a little more warm up. Let him know that he needs to take it easy and be gentle.
- Turn it into a game. You have a lot to discover. Turn your foreplay into a fun game>
- Take your time. Too many guys want to race down the Autobahn of foreplay. Get in the slow lane and let your body and senses warm up.
- Let go. Sex is oftentimes awkward and sometimes funny as you gain complete confidence in yourself and your partner. Go with the flow. Try not to get anxious. There is no one right way to do it.
- Finally, be safe. Be sure to wrap it up and know your limits.
Also keep in mind that while some gay guys enjoy anal sex, a whole lot of others don't! Some gay guys just aren't into anal. They might enjoy oral sex with a partner, mutual masturbation, body rubbing or role play. Sex is more than just penetration and the first time you have sex with another guy doesn't have to be the first time you try out every sex act you have ever heard of.
Sex can be a big deal. Hopefully, having more information will help you have the safest most enjoyable experience during your first gay sexual encounter.