Recently, a teen wrote about feeling suicidal on the GLBT teens forum. She says:
"A couple months ago, I was feeling particularly down. I was really depressed. I wasn't eating; I wasn't sleeping; I wasn't really doing anything at all. Nothing in my life had changed recently. None of my friends or family members noticed anything different about me. It was really early in the morning and no one was awake yet. I decided I was just going to get my chores done so that if I did fall asleep later, I wouldn't have to wake up to do them. So I was putting away the dishes. But then I was thinking about life and how bad it had been recently. So I sat on the floor. I must've sat there for at least an hour. Debating. I'd thought about it before. Suicide. The permanent solution to the temporary problem.
You know what stopped me? A note. I couldn't not leave a note. So I went up to my room, intending to do just that. But there are so many people who I'd have to write to. I couldn't just do my family; they wouldn't be the only ones affected. I started writing them, too. Really writing them. On paper. At some point though, I started crying and I just couldn't stop. Flushed all the notes to be sure no one would ever read them. And so I wouldn't be tempted to continue where I left off.
I really just want to get back to happy and pretend this whole thing never happened. It's hard not to think about it though. Every time I try to tell someone, I just can't. Their next question would be why? or what's wrong? and I don't even know anymore...
Does anyone know what I should do about it? I mean, I know I should tell someone, I really just don't know how to go about it..."
This is a really intense post, and when kids write about wanting to commit suicide on the site, I am always concerned about the impact it will have on the community. There have been so many publicized GLBT teen suicides recently and some people are worried that when one person talks about suicide, it legitimizes it for others. And while some of the reasons for these suicides, like homophobia, bullying and isolation are apparent, there are other issues that are we are struggling to understand.
But it is also really important for kids to know where to turn for help both for themselves and for friends. So here are some things you need to know in case someone you know ever expresses suicidal feelings or turns to you for help.
- What to say. You can tell the person you are so so sorry that he or she has been feeling like this. But remember, you are NOT a mental health professional and cannot be expected to know how to deal with the situation. It is natural for teens to turn to their peers for help. That doesn't mean those peers should feel like they need to know what to do. You can encourage your friend to talk to an adult right away, or you can tell an adult yourself or call 911. Remember, suicide is considered a medical emergency.
- Who to tell. Suicide is a matter of life and death. If someone tells you not to tell anyone how he or she is feeling, this is not a secret worth keeping. Tell an adult like a teacher, guidance counselor, parent, doctor or therapist.
- Resources. You should know about The Trevor Project. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning teens who are feeling suicidal or who are in crisis can call the toll free hotline at, 866-4-U-Trevor, for free, confidential help 24 hours a day. It is also good to know about general suicide crisis hotlines. In the United States, you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255. There is also a website that lists suicide hotlines around the world.
Remember, while it is not your job as a friend to judge how real the threat is to your friend it can be helpful to know some warning signs of suicide.
It can be really hard and scary if someone close to you talks about suicide. You might want to reach out for support for yourself as well. Your family, friends or therapist can be helpful, so can something like the GLBT Youth Talkine which can be reached at 1-800-246-PRIDE.
