A reader posted this question to the community forum:
"So last night i was hanging out with my friends and one of them is a girl ( they don't know i'm gay) and she kinda asked me out. I said i would think about it. shes a really close friend and i enjoy spending time with her and my friends but i don't have feelings for her. and i'm scared to say no and if i do she just going to tell all of my other friend. and then there going to start wondering why i said no. so what should i do ? :(
You have a few options. One is to tell her you are flattered, but you are gay and don't date girls. But it doesn't sound like you want to do that.
Another option, is to simply tell her that while you are flattered, you aren't interested in anything more than friendship. While this might seem cruel, it is a lot kinder than leading her on when you have no interest. Plus, even if you worry that saying something like, "I think it's better that we just stay friends," is the same as telling her you are gay, that probably isn't going to be the first thing that pops into her mind.
Any time you need to let someone down, you should do so kindly and treat that person with respect. But anyone who asks someone else out is taking a risk and they have to know that their feelings might not be reciprocated.
Got any experiences either as a straight girl or guy whose had a crush on someone gay or as a gay guy or lesbian who was crushed on by someone straight that you'd live to share? You can do that here!
