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Am I Crushing or Obsessing?

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gay teen love
Image (c) Gabriela Camerotti
Question: Am I Crushing or Obsessing?
There's a fine like between crushing and obsessing. Here's how gay teens can tell the difference!
Answer:

When it comes to people you "like" feelings can get pretty intense. But when does a healthy crush become unhealthy or even obsessive? Basically, when it overtakes your life and you start to do things you wouldn't otherwise do or stop doing things you usually do!

GLBT teens can slip in to obsession mode for a few reasons:

  • It might seem like you have limited dating prospects so you focus all your energy on one particular person.
  • Obsessing about someone can distract you from unpleasant things going on in your life.
  • Teens with low self-esteem might obsessively start to look for any signs from someone they like as affirmation that someone is interested in them.
  • These feelings might be new to you, and it might be hard to keep them in check.

Here's a post from a teen in the forum about a girl she has a crush on:

i've been in school three days and i cant stop thinking about her. if i cant get my mind off of her soon, my grades will fall. i haven't been listening to a word any teacher has said. the only time i didn't think about her today was when i sat down in science and my desk fell over (lol that was funny). i've also been thinking about applying to a specialized learning center for students who excel in a subject and want to take it to the next level. but if i do get in, i'll be in a different high school than her next year. i don't really know what to do.

Sound familiar? I'm sure it does to a lot of you. The feelings this girl describes are pretty common. But doing something like not going to the school you want to attend, because your crush goes somewhere else, probably won't make the situation a lot better.

In fact, sometimes a little distance from your crush can mellow out your feelings.

Of course, sometimes people who you are crushing on return your feelings, which is great. But if that doesn't seem to be happening, distracting yourself by keeping busy can help get your mind back on track! If the feelings really don't get any easier to handle, you might want to consider talking to a counselor about what you are feeling!

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