Breaking up is rarely fun. Neither is figuring out what to do after a relationship is dead and buried. Do you cut your ex off completely? Try to stay friends? Hook-up from time to time?
There's no one answer that works for everyone. But for gay teens there is often an added complication: your ex might be one of the few people who you are out to or who supported you for being gay. Add that to the fact that you simply might not know a lot of GLBT teens, and the idea of totally breaking off communication with an ex often becomes even trickier. As a result of lot of gay teens stay friends with someone they used to date.
But just because there are good reasons to stay friends with an ex, doesn't mean that doing so is going to be easy on you, or on your next partner. As a teen writes into the forum:
"My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 4 months now. We had been introduced by a mutual friend and after one all night conversation on Facebook she decided the next day to dump her girlfriend of one year and pursue me. Obviously we hit it off extremely well and after the first month she proved to be a good and faithful girlfriend. BUT, (of course there is a but) she did one thing that I've found many lesbians do that irks me. She remained friends with her ex!
She has told me on many occasions that her ex clearly still has feelings for her and openly flirts with her whenever they hangout. Knowing that she continues to visit her ex and hangout / go to the movies w/ her, I asked her why she hangs out with her still, her answer - 'I miss her family.' or my favorite, 'I miss the bond we had'. My girlfriend often calls me jealous when I complain about this."
This type of situation is pretty common. It is normal for a partner to feel jealous and the writers girlfriend should understand that. But is is also important to realize that a bond is more than something sexual or romantic.
When it comes to an ex, there are a million different ways that a situation can play out. What's important is doing what is best for everyone involved, even if that doesn't follow the expected pattern.
