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I Haven't Heard from My Straight Friend Since I Said I Liked Him. What to Do?


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Revealing a crush to a friend can be scary.

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Question: I Haven't Heard from My Straight Friend Since I Said I Liked Him. What to Do?
Revealing a crush to a straight friend can be a pretty scary thing. What can be even harder is when that friend doesn't react the way you would like. Here a teen asks for advice after he texts a friend that he likes him and only gets radio silence in return.

A teen writes to the forum:

"I told this guy (straight) from my school that I was bi and he handled that pretty well, but then I sent him a message telling him how much I liked him and I haven't heard from him since. What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? What should I do now?"

Telling someone you have a crush on him or her is a pretty big deal that involves taking a really big risk. Obviously, it would be great if all crushes were returned, but in real life things don't always turn out like this.

There is no way to know exactly what your friend is thinking. He might be scared, uncomfortable, trying to process his own feelings or attempting to compose the right kind of text back.

It is also very possible that he simply doesn't know what to say to you. If he is straight and not romantically interested as a result, he might be trying to think of a way to let you down easy and just not know how to go about doing that.And if your revelation made him question his own feelings he might be trying to understand this as well./p>

As another teen says:

"My advice is don't freak out. Most likely the guy is probaly just coming to terms with the fact that you like him and he needs some time to think is all. Cause you know you did kind of tell him you're bi and that you like him, even though he is straight, relatively close together. So I'd say just give him some time to think about this all and most likely you guys will still be friends. Good Luck :)"

Hearing that someone likes you can cause a range of reactions from excitement, to nervousness and discomfort. The same can be said of learning that someone close to you is gay, lesbian or bisexual.

You could send your friend a text message saying something along the lines of, "It's okay if you don't feel the same. I'd still like to be friends."

Maintaining a friendship with someone after you have revealed a crush can take a little work. But plenty of people have managed to do so just fine.

One of the best ways to do so is not to obsess over the crush. So how do you avoid obsession? Some good ways are to stay busy, hang out with other friends, try not to be possessive of your crush's other friends and people he might date.

If doing this seems too hard right now, taking a little time and space could be good for both you, and doing so might help lead you back to friendship quicker than would forcing the issue immediately.

You should also remember that you are not alone in dealing with this. In fact, over 800 teens have shared their experiences with straight crushes on this site. And while a lot of these stories don't end in romance, plenty end with the teens being able to remain friends with their crush.

Coming out to a friend is a pretty big deal. Coming out to a friend you are crushing on is even more intense. Just remind yourself, no matter how this situation turns out, you did something really hard and really brave.

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