Jmsinger
i always knew i was gay, but never knew it was right, because my parents always taught me that it was a disgusting thing to be
anyway, i went to this hardcore Christian camp about a year ago, and i met these to guys there. they became close friends to me and i didn’t tell them at all. i was dating my last girlfriend at that time and i started to neglect my true self.
i broke up with my girlfriend because those thoughts came back to me. it was more haunting than before and i became severely depressed, because it was something that i didn’t want. i wasn’t accepting myself for who i truly was. i came to terms with myself in February and i told some of my friends across the street and they were so excited for me. i felt free, and i wanted everyone except for my family.
i told some people and those people told more people, and living in a small town rumors of my coming out filled my tiny high school. i didn't tell anyone the truth until the third to last day of school. i was so confident in myself that the first person that asked me that day i proudly told them yes. that person told the entire classroom at that time and i had to answer so many questions. by lunchtime a lot of people knew, and i cried so much that day because i was so scared. but it was worth it.
i unintentionally told my dad one day in the early morning and i ran off and i cried more than before. my abdomen hurt for days. he called me on my cell phone in the middle of the day and said that if i didn’t come home he would report me as a runaway and if i didn’t tell my mom that night, he would raise hell.
i was forced to tell my mom. they tell me i'm going to hell. they say they have to love me. they hate me as a person, but love me as a son, which means they aren’t loving me at all.
