The Situation
"I'm a girl, attracted to both boys and girls, and I've known this for over a year. I'm completely fine with this, and I want to come out. I've already come out to my close friend that I can easily talk to, and a couple of other LGBT and pro-LGBT friends (mostly because they've asked me outright.)
Now I want to come out to more of my friends and my family. I don't want it to be so much a big deal as just that I don't hide things or lie anymore. There's only one person I would make it a bigger deal to tell, and that's my older sister. Once she knows, I think I can let myself really come out. However, there are some things stopping me.
While I've had huge crushes on both genders, I've never dated or even kissed anyone. I don't even like anyone that way right now. I know how I've felt in the past, and I know how I feel now. But it seems like there's no point coming out unless I'm actually going to be dating a girl or at least unless I want to date a specific girl. Is it true that there's no point?"
Coming Out Options
The issue of whether or not to come out while you are single and not dating anyone is a big one for GLBT teens and adults alike. Some gay teens worry that people won't believe them if they come out while they are single. Others don't want to spring a boyfriend or girlfriend on mom and dad out of the blue.
It is important for GLBT teens as well as for hetero folk to realize that being gay is about more than sex and relationships, and coming out when you are single is a good way to remind people of this.
Really, the most important thing is to come out when you are ready. Though coming out can be an amazing experience, it is important to think about your reasons for coming out before taking the plunge. Coming out at any age can be challenging, there are a few unique issues young people need to think about.
Ask yourself:
- Will coming out jeopardize my situation at home?
- Is it safe, physically and emotionally, for me to come out to my parents? At school?
- Do I have support for coming out from at least one friend and family member?
Once you have thought through these questions, you might have a better idea of whether or not coming out now is a good idea.
