As any teen knows, friends are really important. And as you've probably heard one too many times, a friend who doesn't treat you right isn't really worth being friends with. Well, that might sound good on paper, but the thought that friends might reject you for coming out can be really scary.
You might already have an idea of how your friends would react. If they make homophobic remarks and seem really hostile to GLBT issues then obviously you will feel less safe coming out to them.
It's also possible that a friend who seems open-minded might get uncomfortable when you come out.
On the other hand, the friend you always thought was a bit of a buffoon might turn out to be completely supportive.
So what's a person to do?
Here are some options:
- Come out to a friend who doesn't go to your school first. Hopefully that person will be supportive. If you are nervous about coming out to school friends, it can be really helpful to know you have someone in your corner who isn't going to get caught up in any school drama.
- Come out to one person who you trust won't tell anyone else.
- If that person reacts positively, you might want them to come with you if you decide to tell anyone else.
Sometimes people are nervous about having GLBT friends because they are misinformed. You might want to set them straight on a few points.
- Just because you are GLBT does not mean you are romantically interested in your friend or will hit on him or her.
- Being GLBT isn't "catching." Sexual orientation and gender won't rub off on another person (though maybe being more accepting will).
- Some people worry that by hanging out with a GLBT person, an assumption will be made that they are also GLBT. There's nothing you can do about that, and really so what? If your pal gets mistaken for gay or lesbian, it's not that hard to say, "Actually I'm straight."
Coming out can be great. These days, many schools offer support and services to GLBT students and maintain anti-discrimination policies. Coming out can also be a real challenge. Make sure to put your safety first and seriously consider if coming out could jeopardize your physical or mental health before making any decisions.
Back to Part 1: Will my family treat me differently if I come out?
