I get a lot of hostile comments on this site, but one area where people seem to be particularly nasty is when it comes to anal sex.
On the same day, recently, one commenter ranted:
"I don't know if this has already been mentioned, but I don't understand why gays do anal sex and lesbians use dildos, as if they are substitutes for vaginas and penises respectively. It makes the whole homosexual business a bit superficial. I also don't understand-from a physiological standpoint-why people would want to have anal sex. Aside from the fact that faeces are dirty, anal sex can cause anal fissures, haemorrhoids and rectal prolapses. I have no problem with gay people, just this type of sex."
Then another claimed:
"ALLL i have to say is anal sex whether it is with straight ppl or gay ppl is wrong. i am a straight female and I have seen anal sex with 2 men and it is just wrong and unnatural. just looking at it gives me chills, its an abomination to nature..i like to hang out with gay men but what they do in the bedroom should not be seen..it looks weird and i kinda see why ppl are against them so much."
Sadly, such views are really common (as is the utter ridiculousness of the second commentor's claim that she likes to hang out with gay men, but finds the things she imagines them doing repellent). Nevertheless, I think it is important to tackle a few misconceptions about anal sex.
Anal Sex is Dangerous
The notion that anal sex will harm your body is fairly common. Of course, any sex act can occasionally result in an injury, but it isn't like anal sex is inherently dangerous. Having anal sex will not lead to an enlarged or loose sphincter or anus. It won't result in a loss of bowel control. It won't produce anal fissures, hemorrhoids and rectal prolapses. Some people believe that regular anal sex actually gives people better bowel control.
Anal Sex Hurts
Another misconception about anal sex is that it is painful. But that just isn't the case for people who are doing it right. Sure, any sex act can hurt or be uncomfortable if you don't use lubricant, go too fast or push your body to do things it isn't ready for. But anal, like anything else, can be be very pleasurable and pain free.
Anal Sex is Gross
Many people are nervous about anal sex because they think that it is "gross" or messy. Sometimes these people forget that in general, sex isn't a tidy package and that bodies produces smells, fluids and sounds during all sorts of sex acts. If you are worried about mess, here are some good rules of thumb for anal:
- Don't do it if you feel like you have to go to the bathroom.
- Make sure to practice basic hygiene.
- Maintain a fiber rich diet to keep your insides working well.
Anal sex is "unnatural."
"I don't understand why gays do anal sex and lesbians use dildos, as if they are substitutes for vaginas and penises respectively," says the first commentor. "It is just wrong and unnatural," echoes the second. These are pretty common views, but really, no sex act can claim it is more "natural" than any other. Some people argue that any sex not intended to result in a pregnancy isn't "natural," but very few people actually use sex only to procreate.
Look, anal sex is perfectly normal. But that can be hard to remember since there are so many negative associations with this sex practice. Some of these have to do with homophobia and the association of anal sex with gay men. Some have to do with our culture's discomfort with the anus. Some have to do with the assumption that anal sex hurts.
As with any sex act, with anal sex it is important to make sure that you are physically and emotionally comfortable and feel capable of protecting yourself from STDs by using condoms. As long as that is taken care of, then anal sex is simply one sex act among many that people may or may not choose to participate in.
