Ex-Gay Conversion Programs: Dealing with Parents Who Push Them
Imagine you had a friend who disappeared and you suspected his parents had enrolled him in a Christian gay "conversion" program. That's what a some people suspect happened to college student Bryce Faulkner. So they did what anyone in the social networking age would. They started a Facebook group called Friends of Bryce.
This group has been created in order to try and find and save a young man, Bryce Faulkner, from the clutches of conservative Fundamentalists who are trying to "cure" his homosexuality and bring greater attention to these organizations that thrust their theological philosophies on vulnerable victims. It is my desire to not only enlist aid in finding and rescuing him, but to discuss similar stories and create a list of organizations to be aware of that perpetrate the notion that being gay is evil, spiritually void and a choice on conscience.
The issue of "homosexual conversion therapy" or "reparative therapy" is a serious one as the goal of these organizations is to make gay people straight or "ex-gay."
This kind of therapy has not been proven to work, has been shown to cause serious harm and is not supported by organizations like the American Psychological Association or the American Academy of Pediatrics.
A lot of people are appalled that parents would send children to such programs and the Friend's of Bryce group has published the home address and phone number of Bryce's parents and encouraged supporters to contact them directly about the situation.
But is doing this a good idea? Peterson Toscano, the founder of Beyond Ex-Gay and a survivor of ex-gay programs writes:
"Usually [parents] are not motivated by hate or intolerance but by fear and ignorance. Most parents simply want the best for their children and believe that by sending their child to such a program will help...In reaching out to [Bryce's] parents, if you feel so led to do, please try not to make negative judgments towards them. Assume they love their child and want him to live a happy life."
I think that is an important message, but a hard one to accept in the face of such a troubling situation.
On the community forums, the topic of coming out to religious parents is a big one and teens regularly share stories and and fears about family rejection. These highlight the fact that while plenty of parents lovingly accept GLBT children, a lot of others will never come around, no matter how much education about the issue they receive.
Still it is true that few people respond well to anger and hostility and it could really serve you well to keep Toscano's message in mind if you are ever butting heads with your parents about being gay.
Have any of your parents tried to get you to do a conversion therapy program? How did you cope?
when i first came out to my parents, they were in the process of putting me up with a christian counciler. When i found this out, i repeatedly told them no, and that if they do, i would not go. I am happy that all of thosearguments and such got them to discontinue their attempts to do such a thing.