This Year's Transgender Day of Remembrance Comes After Two Brutal Murders
Today is the 11th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.
The day was founded in 1998 in memory of a transgender murder victim, Rita Hester, and is designed to commemorate those who have lost their lives simply for expressing their gender identity.
This year's Day comes at a particularly sad time for the GLBT community. In the last few weeks there have been two tragic murders of young men who did not conform to rigid gender expectations.
Last week, a teen named Jorge Steven López, was brutally murdered in Puerto Rico. A suspect arrested in the case has said that the crime occurred after he discovered that Jorge was not biologically female. A few days later an openly gay teen in Baltimore, Jason Mattison was raped and murdered, allegedly by a family member.
Each new hate crime against a member of the GLBT community is a sad reminder that no matter how far we've come, there is still so much further to go.
Rising STD Rates Linked to Abstinence-Only Education
The CDC just released the latest study showing the failure of federally funded abstinence-only programs. These programs run in American schools and do not teach about condoms, birth control and sexual expression. Rather, they teach that the only place to have sex is in a heterosexual marriage. Kind of a tough thing for a gay teen...
But in addition to isolating GLBT students, the CDC report explains that these programs have contributed to a rise in STDs among teens.
American squeamishness about talking about sex has helped keep common sexually transmitted infections far too common, especially among vulnerable teens, U.S. researchers reported Monday. Latest statistics on chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis show the three highly treatable infections continue to spread in the United States.
Additionally, after a fifteen year decline, the last few years have seen a rising rate of American teen pregnancies.
And yet despite this, plenty of folks want to cling to the idea that abstinence-only education is effective. For example, the director of the Kansas based Abstinence Inc. responded to this recent news saying,
"Because the study of abstinence education is so new, there is a limited, but growing, body of evidence that teens are responding to the abstinence message by making the healthy choice to avoid sexual activity and other risky behavior."
Sorry, but I'll take the CDC's findings over her claims any day.
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From the Comments: "I Came Out Today..."
Here's a comment from a middle schooler who just came out:
"I came out today to a couple of people and they are fine with it. It feels so much better now that I don't have to hide that part of who i am. It really annoys me how people say stuff like, "He's only 12. How could he really know if he's gay." Well I have never been more sure about anything in my life!" Keep reading...
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Sometimes a Supportive Environment Isn't All You Need to Come Out
Some gay teens come out despite the fact that they live in totally hostile environments. Others stay closeted even though they live in supportive communities.
So what is behind this phenomenon? I wasn't sure myself, so I asked a group of teens I was working with what they thought.
Some assumed that kids who came out in anti-gay environments were just trying to rebel or get attention. Others felt that those who didn't come out despite community support were probably worried about what their friends would think of them. "Maybe they don't feel like it's anyone's business," one offered.
I think there are probably a whole range of reasons for this situation. Like so much else in life, the decision to come out is a personal one. And while environment can really affect a teen's decision, it isn't the sole deciding factor.
I'm sure the reasons I heard from teens apply in some cases. But I am also pretty sure that in others there are many more contributing factors.
What do you think?
Meet Other Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Trans Teens on the Forum!
A lot of people have never been part of an online community. But for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens, joining one can be one of the best ways to meet other gay teens and get support from people who are going through similar things in their lives.
As one teens says of his experience on the forum:
"I came out to everyone at school, and I was having a difficult time coping when I came out, and dealing with my severely conservative Christian parents.
I ran off one day in a fit of tears looking for someone to talk to that had all of the answers. I had used about.com for a project at school, and I asked myself, who would be able to understand me most....a gay teenager like myself...hhhmm...I'll search it...on this website!!
I found one of my dearest friends on here that first day. No matter what I am going through he can always make me laugh. Every time I get on the computer here at the library, I go to facebook, myspace, and this forum." Read more...
The forum is a safe space, moderated by an adult (me), where teens can be themselves and meet other kids going through similar experiences. Check it out!
Alabama Teen Told She Can't Bring Her Girlfriend to Prom
Recently, Cynthia Stewart, a 17-year-old Alabama teen tried to do something every other kid at her school was allowed to do: bring her partner to prom.
"When Cynthia approached her principal to ask if she could bring her girlfriend with her to the prom, he said no. He also made Cynthia remove a sticker she was wearing that said, "I am a lesbian," telling her, "You don't have that much freedom of speech at school." Cynthia's aunt and guardian, Kathy Baker, then appealed the principal's decision to the school board. But the board let the decision to bar Cynthia from bringing her girlfriend to the prom stand."
Teens have had the legal right to bring a same sex date to prom since 1980 when Aaron Fricke successfully sued his high school for not allowing him to take his boyfriend to prom. This set a precedent for other legal cases brought by students against their schools. Yet time and time again, schools ignore the law in order to impose their own view of acceptable behavior.
What exactly do people like this principal think will happen if two girls or two boys attend a school function together? Do they fear that the kids will have sex on the dance floor? Recruit hetero teens to their cause? Or just plain make the gown-ups around them feel uncomfortable?
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If I Come Out Will I Still Be Able to Have Sleepovers With My Friends?
Over the years that I've worked as a health teacher, I've had a few teens come out to me before coming out to their friends or family. During conversations, some have mentioned the issue of sleepovers.
Some gay and lesbian teens worry that if they come out, their friends won't invite them to sleepovers. Others worry that their parents won't let their platonic friends sleep over anymore.
If this is a concern for you, here are a few things you can explain to the people around you:
- Just because you are gay or lesbian, doesn't mean that you are romantically interested in every person of the same sex.
- People hook-up at all different times throughout the day and a lot of teens have opportunities to hook-up when parents are at work or out for the evening.
- There are many situations in life that are divided by gender (summer camp bunks, college dorms, spots teams), and preventing a gay kid from having a sleepover is an artificial way to avoid the issue of sex.
Coming out can be awesome and liberating. But even if the people in your life are generally accepting, you might have to deal with a few additional roadblocks and it never hurts to be prepared for them!
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Gender Assumptions & School Dress Codes
This weekend, the New York Times ran a piece called, Can a Boy Wear a Skirt to School?
The article looked at a number of issues surrounding dress codes imposed by schools, but it focused on the question of gender.
As a lot of you probably know, in many schools the dress code is not only about dressing in a tidy, respectful manner. It is also a way that schools, whether consciously or not, maintain a strict gender divide.
You can read the article at the New York Times site.
Why do you think schools are so uncomfortable with students who wear clothes associated with the opposite sex?
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Sex Education News from the UK
Issues surrounding sex education are not only an American thing. In fact, countries around the world struggle with how to teach children and teens about sex.
This week, the British government unveiled a new plan for their schools. As the Lesbian and Gay Foundation reports,
"The government have announced that sex education will become compulsary for all schools, and that lessons will discuss gay issues and relationships and sexually transmitted infections such as HIV. Sex education will begin from the age of five. Primary school children will learn about their bodies and puberty, along with marriages, divorces and civil partnerships. Pupils in secondary education will be taught about contraception, gay and lesbian relationships and HIV."
This is welcome news in a country with the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Western Europe and which has seen a number of high profile hate crimes against gay men in recent months.
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Am I Transgender or Transsexual?
If you have a penis and feel male, or if you have a vagina and feel female, then you might not have given your gender identity a lot of thought. But if you are a teen who doesn't feel like your body matches the gender that you were assigned, then you might be wondering if you are transgender or transsexual.
Transgender is an umbrella term that includes:
- drag kings and drag queens
- cross-dressers
- transvestites
- genderqueers
- transsexuals
Transgender individuals may have the genitals of one sex, but a gender identity usually associated with the other. For example, a person born with a penis who feels female may identify as transgender.
Transsexual individuals generally want to surgically or hormonally alter their bodies to match their identities. Pre-op transsexuals tend to have not had surgery and so have the genitalia and bodies of their birth sex. They will usually still live as the opposite sex. Post-op transsexuals have undergone surgery to change their genitals and / or other parts of their bodies.
Some teens know that they are transgender or transsexual from early childhood. For others, the question, "Am I transgender or transsexual?" is one they struggle with for a long time.